Third Sunday of Easter Year C 2010

03 Easter C 10

April 18, 2010

Acts 9:1-6, (7-20)

Psalm 30

Revelation 5:11-14

John 21:1-19

How Much He Must Suffer

Breathing threats is how Luke puts it. Have you ever been resentful? I don't mean angry at someone. I mean have you ever had a kind of chronic desire to fight with someone? To breathe threats is something like bathing in them, having them for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Getting up in the middle of the night for a little late-night threat-snack.

Saul is an authority guy though. He's not going around busting heads illegally. He follows the law. The radio call goes out, you know, "We've got a code 53 going on, Straight Street, Damascus." Officer Saul dutifully makes sure he's got the warrant in hand before he cranks up the siren and flips on the flashing lights.

This is not to say he's cool, calm and collected though. He's mad. He's outraged. These people, these followers of "The Way," will not stop slandering his sect. Nor will they acknowledge the authority of the council in Jerusalem. They told Peter and his disciples to shut up about Jesus and the council's role in the crucifixion not once but twice. But would they shut up? No, they would not. And then Saul himself was present when that Stephen was brought before the council and right to their faces accused them of participating in the wrongful execution of this blasphemer Jesus. The crowd had stoned that one to death, and good riddance.

You've got to trust the people in charge, the people who are the big shots, who have everything under control, the people with the big sticks. I mean, if you can't trust them, who can you trust? You can't just go around saying you're not going to obey them anymore, you're not going to be a citizen of the country you live in anymore, you're not going to go along to get along anymore. You just can't do that. It's chaos. The system may not be perfect, Saul might have granted you that, but without it everything would go to hell in a hand basket.

And then on his way to silence the enemies, a voice comes that is so powerful it literally knocks him off his horse. You know, this is how I've come to know the Holy Spirit. Have you ever suddenly found yourself getting turned 180 degrees? Have you ever been in the middle of being really, really mad at someone, having your threat-snack in the middle of the night, and suddenly realize that it's not them you're mad at but yourself? Have you ever suddenly seen yourself as the bad guy in your story, when all along before you had thought you were the hero?

That's one of the reasons I personally think God does not naturally indwell in all human beings, but offers himself to be accepted or rejected. Insights like "I'm the one at fault" in the midst of being certain that everyone else is to blame is the kind of insight that cannot begin within oneself. There are plenty of people who have chronic low self-esteem and blame themselves for all sorts of things. I'm not talking about them. I'm talking about the one who is absolutely sure he is right and everyone else is wrong, who suddenly sees that the truth is almost entirely opposite, not necessarily that everyone else is right, but that he has been profoundly wrong.

The story of the apostles is a story of resurrection power. It's the story of the kind of radical transformations the resurrection of Jesus brings about. This power is entirely consistent and continuous with the power that infused Jesus throughout his ministry before his own transformation. It's Holy Spirit power.

The authority of our day is a much more powerful deity, a much more insidious and baffling foe. It is our own desire to control not only our own lives, but the lives of others. It is not a failure of willpower that makes us fat, greedy, drunk, stoned, selfish or violent; it's actually an overabundance of willpower. It's our own individual wills that are trying to run the show, and it's so pervasive in our culture, so absolutely blessed and baptized, that we are coming to a place where we know nothing but power struggle. Is it any wonder that people are getting sick with stress all around us? Is it any wonder we are getting sick with it? We spend our days feeling embattled and besieged. We are told constantly that there is some threat to fear.

What if all the stuff we are hearing is simply a lie?

What if it isn't up to us at all? What if the threats everyone is saying are threatening us really aren't? What if there wasn't anything we could do about them anyway? What if there really is enough for everyone, and we really don't have to protect our own? What if we just stopped believing anything we hear but the word of God, who announces, "I love you, and I love the world, and my rule is the only just rule there is"?

What if God all of a sudden just interrupted your late-night threat-snack and said, "Why are you crucifying me? Why are you persecuting me? Why are you laying me in the tomb and remembering me like some dead family member? I'm not some dead god who died a long time ago that you have to do without. I'm alive, I'm right here, and I love you."

Well, that might just knock you off your horse wouldn't it?

It's quite a feeling, having such a realization. It feels like you've gone blind all of a sudden. It feels like you suddenly don't know anything. You know, it's a wonderful feeling, really. Sudden darkness and silence. All the running chatter of rationalization and self-justification going through your head just kind of goes quiet. Your whole museum of convictions just goes dark. Sort of like dying, but strangely wonderful. What if none of the bull manure the world was shoveling you just wasn't true? Ahhhh. That's better. Got a little room now. Not so crowded in here. Not to mention the somewhat better smell.

And the voice of God comes: "Why are you persecuting me? Do you love me?"

And the voice of God says, "Want a job?"

Amen.